Shouting vs Whispering

I've decided to drop the hot politics behind MH370 (for a while at least) and focus on something from my life. My father's been retired for quite some years and he's taken a really laid back approach to life.

Yesterday, he accompanied me to my dental appointment and we made small talk on the way. It's not unusual but most couples in their 50s to 60s have very little communication with one another, causing lots of misunderstanding.

Being somewhat a logical person, I advised my father to sit down calmly with my mother, and talk things out with her. I said:

Let her know what you are going through. She can't understand what you are going through because you never tell her. You also don't know what she's going through because you never ask her. You're not psychic and neither is she. You guys need to talk to each other calmly. You have to try to understand what you're each going through. Arguing doesn't improve the situation. 

My father started ranting and just could not focus on finding a solution. I realize my mother is the same. When I told him shouting makes things worse he says:

If I'm shouting then she should get the message already.

I was shocked that he would think so.  When I asked him if he got what mum wanted when she shouted, he just continued his rant, ignoring my comment (yeah children's opinions never do matter, do they).

I once read a very meaningful saying about shouts and whispers. It roughly goes like:

Monk 1: Why do people need to shout? And when you are shouted at, why is it hard for us to listen?  

Monk 2: The heart is timid and shy. When you are angry, the heart moves far away. So shouting is needed to cover the distance. But shouting only makes the heart move farther away. It causes misunderstanding.  

Monk 1: Then what should we do? 

Monk 2: The heart is also a curious creature. When we whisper softly and with kindness, the heart leanscloser to hear us. That is why sometimes, words are not even necessary for people to understand one another. 

I often remind myself not to be harsh to my loved ones because I remember this. When you calmly talk it over with your loved ones, they will (and should) try to understand what you are going through. Your message will be sent successfully. I know it doesn't always happen that way but we should never stop making the world a better place. Want a miracle? Be the miracle. :) Love will find a way.

Rant of an Average Malaysian - MH370

I just realized it's been quite a few years since my last blog. As part of the workforce of Malaysia, it's inevitable that I will encounter many controversial news and more about all the topics under the sun, with the most current being Flight MH370.

Honestly this is one of the most saddening news I have heard, not because there is no greater tragedy, but that hundreds of families are crying for their loved ones all at once. It's positively heart breaking to see crying pictures, video clips, etc of the family members on every media. To them I hope fervently that their loved ones be returned in the best state of health.

Another thing that saddens me is the way certain people are reacting to this. Somehow, it involved race and religion. The most recent news featuring Ridhuan Tee listing lessons learned from MH370.

“It is annoying when a stewardess wears a short and see-through dress," said Ridhuan Tee. 

Well, the stewardesses are wearing standard uniform. If it annoys you, please don't look. I have no qualms about Muslim ladies "tutup aurat". In fact, if they wished it, I don't see why they shouldn't. Just don't enforce it as a LAW. It takes away the significance of a woman who chooses by her own will to "tutup aurat".

"Those who ask for liquor are those who are used to drinking. Distract them with more nutritious local food like cendol and such," said Ridhuan, referring to the sweet coconut milk dessert.

Drinking liquor is a personal choice. As long as a person does it moderately, there's no reason why they can't. There is no rule disallowing non-Muslims from taking liquor. It's wrong to disallow others to do it because you don't believe it and can't do it. Again, it's a choice. If you believe in your religion, you don't need people to force you to do or not do something.  The passengers are not driving the plane. They are sitting and enjoying what could be a long flight. If they're not disturbing peace, don't make problems.

On another note, cendol is NOT a healthy or nutritious food. Quoted from healthguru.sg:

Don’t be fooled by the large portion of ice!  This dessert is quite high in calories, carbohydrates and fat.  The portion of coconut and condensed milk is full of sugar and fat (Remember 4 tablespoons of coconut milk has 140 calories and 14g of fat and 2 tablespoons of condensed milk has 130 calories, 22g sugar and high amounts of saturated fat). Topped with the palm syrup and the green cendol the sugar, fat and calories certainly do add up!  This dessert is probably best to avoid if you are a diabetic.

This coming from the party who stopped subsidizing sugar because "it causes impotence in men", you really have to ask if they know what they're saying and if we should listen to them.

All in all, my personal point of view,encourage people of your religion to do as they should, don't force them. More than that, don't force others not of your religion to follow suit. Don't give opinions that aren't in any way connected to the flight. None of the advises you give would have prevented the plane from going missing.

My general plea for the casual folks, please consider the feelings of the family before you write insensitive comments. They are someone's mother, father, brother, sister, cousin, spouse, children, etc. They are deeply saddened by it. I sincerely hope not to see anymore "they died because" followed by racist statements. Now is a time for people regardless of religion and race to work together to locate the plane as well as hope for their well being. Thank you to all the countries who have contributed national assets (planes, submarines, etc) in order to aid the search. We are thankful and we hope for the best.

*Picture is taken from LilyMarliza's page. All credit goes to her. 

If I offended anyone with my words, I regretfully apologize.