What is it about rainy days that make you think of sad memories? I found myself entranced by the drops falling from the sky like it was crying. Involuntarily, my mind took a tour back to my ex relationship.
The first thing that hit my mind were the happy memories from what seemed so long ago. I remembered him holding my hand while his other hand brushed my cheek, telling me that he loved me so much and that there will be no other. There was so much love and feeling in his eyes that it could not have been a lie. I was afraid to believe because I was hurt before so he promised me that he will tell me if he ever felt his feelings change. He promised I would be the first to know.
There were many other sweet happy memories that he said so earnestly that I have no other choice but to believe it. Very slowly, he made me trust in him, to believe what he say, to trust that I was safe in this person's arms.
Whenever he made promises of the future, I would always say "we don't know that". and he would always say "I will prove it to you by doing it".
Tears fell from my eyes when even happy memories felt stinging sharp to my heart.
Finally I did trust him, and so very much at that. Sadly, he could not keep his promises, not one. Not any that means so much to me.
It's quite easy to make a promise. It's even easier to break it. It was quite heart breaking but I was the last to know about his cheating and lying. When I finally trusted him, he proves to me that he can't be trusted.
It made me wonder, where did all the love go.
I guess not all my tears have run dry yet. :) Someday I would be able to look back at myself and not feel the overpowering sadness that will make me tear up.
It does teach me that promises should not be made so lightly. Trust should not be manipulated. Important people should not be let down. :) And always to uphold your part of the bargain.
Sunday, March 15, 2009
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2 comments:
stay strong... i also been through the same situation. enough is enough... sadness! hah... i prefer happy & sometimes may go crazy as well
seem like new blog.
sometimes, you have to let it go. There are others waiting for you in your life. wish you find him in the near future. And you will find one who can be trusted.
read this poor english, you know who I am, right?
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